I’ve actually felt pretty freaking guilty about my abysmal word count lately. It’s not that I haven’t written anything. It’s that what I have written has given me so much trouble that I usually end up deleting most of it and starting over. My last posted word count was Jan 11 (34985). Today is Jan 27, and my count is 37063. That’s 2078 words in what, (doing some quick math here…) 16 days? Less than 130 words a day?!?! That sucks! :o

Here’s what’s been going on:

1. I’ve been pretty sick, and am still not over it, but am now to the point that I’m through most of the actual illness, and am simply tired… all the freaking time.

2. Family issues have forced us to make a few whirlwind trips to Oklahoma over a few weekends this month.

3. Son’s birthday, my wife’s and my 25th anniversary, parties for same…

4. And I have been in a tough part of the story. I think I’m through the worst of it (finally have my character on the path to his demise :twisted: ).

But here’s the thing – this is life! It’s as simple as that. These are not things that writers (or anyone else, for that matter) don’t run into all the time and I feel like I’ve handled my life pretty poorly over the last month or so.

I’m starting to get back on it, but am still having trouble. I think it’s just one of those periods that I will just have to power through, throw the main ideas on the screen, and ignore the flagrant errors in SPAG and plot. Just force it and come back later with some SERIOUS rewrites. I don’t like the idea of writing that poorly, but I’m afraid that if I don’t get the momentum back, I’m going to let the rest of my life overtake my writing again. The last time that happened, I set it down for a decade, and Sm1ley ain’t so young anymore. There just aren’t that many productive decades left in this old carcass. ;)

So this is Sm1ley, publicly declaring that I have sucked lately, and I hold myself accountable. I will get back on the damned horse! I will meet my February 28 deadline. When life gets in the way for one day or weekend, I will not accept that it is time lost. Instead, I will make that time up at the next available opportunity.

Take it as me giving myself a pep-talk, or venting into the ether. Take it as a mission statement, or the ravings of a self-indulgent narcissist who thinks his problems or views on life matter to anyone other than himself.

However you want to take it, this is me. I am a writer. It’s time for me to act like one.

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